The Sack
by Polyplectron
Summary: Hermione wants to improve her intimacy with Ron and creates a sack that will help them make it to the next level. Unfortunately, everything does not always go according to plan. From the mind of a non-Harry Potter fan and written by a devoted SSHG HGSS shipper. Here is a little silly story. WARNING MATURE CONTENT, Sexual activity/everyone of age. CRACK fic HGRW, HGSS, HGHP
1. Good Idea At The Time

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling. **

**This story is dedicated to my partner who pointed out the idea to me in a delirium, he is decidedly not an overly crazy Harry Potter fan (like myself) and thought the idea of this was the 'best thing ever'. So I said 'Challenge Accepted'.**

**Here is the Sack.**

**Enjoy.**

**~O~**

Hermione handed the small sack to Ron, "Now Ronald, this sack is very magical because even though we will be apart from one another it will still allow us to be intimate."

Ron blushed heavily at the notion of the two of them being intimate and asked, "h-how does it work?"

"Oh it is quite simple," she replied slyly, "This bag allows for spatial travel for whoever enters through it, in other words, if you stick your hand through it, it will materialise somewhere else."

"So, If I put my hand in there, where will it come out?" he asked squeamishly, the prospect of placing his arm willingly into a dark hole, not quite his forte.

"Well Ron," she said, placing her hand into her underwear, and before Ron could vocalise his confusion, he felt Hermione's petite hand, grabbing his own from the other side of the sack, "it will come straight into my underwear."

"S-so, if I put my penis in there," Ron began excitedly.

"Yes Ron," interrupted Hermione, pulling him close, "You'll cum straight into my underwear."

Later that day, Ron and Hermione sat on either side of Harry in Defence Against the Dark Arts with Snape, eager to try out the sack after class.

_"Now remember Ron, don't do anything until after class." Scorned Hermione._

_"Yes I know I know," he confirmed, "I won't do anything I swear"_

While Snape droned along, discussing the differences between the weredog and the werewolf, Ron allowed the sack to get the better of him and he gently inserted his fingers into it. From the other side of Harry, he could see that Hermione jumped slightly in her seat, crossed her legs and continued to take down notes. Once he did it a second time she caught on to his actions, and looked down the table scornfully and mouthed;

'Don't!'

He grinned at her discomfort and continued to poke and prod his fingers in the sack, taking satisfaction in the small noises she made when he poked too strongly.

"Are you alright Hermione?" whispered Harry to his friend, "You keep fidgeting."

"O-ooh yeah, I am f-fine Harry, just uhhhh just a little restless."

"Uh ok." Replied Harry, giving his friend the strange eyes. Turning away from Hermione, Harry noticed that Ron had his hand wrist deep in a tiny sac.

"Oi, mate. What's in the sack?"

"What?" said Ron startled.

"What's in the sack Ron? Chocolate frogs?"

"Um, no."

"Peppermint twizzlers?"

"No."

"Did they release a new Bertie Botts sack?"

"No!"

"What have you got in there, why won't you tell me?"

"It's none of your business Harry."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so!"

"Give it here Ron."

"No Harry let GO!"

"I want it!"

Harry grabbed the sack from Ron and thrust his hand elbow deep into it, expecting one of Fred and George's gag gifts but was welcomed by something soft, supple and decidedly moist, almost slimy to the touch.

"Uh, disgusting! What is in here Ron?"

"OOoooh my . . ." shrilled Hermione, banging her hand on the desk to steady herself.

"Harry give it back RIGHT NOW!"

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you Hermione? Do you need to go to the hospital wing?"

"uhh . . . feels so."

"What on earth, do you three, think you are doing?" came a thunderous voice.

Looking up, the trio found Professor Snape, towering over them with a look of disdain and loathing plane for them to see. He reached over the desk and extracted the sack from Harry, who's arm slid out of it, covered in a fine film of clear liquid.

"What do we have here?" Snape asked curiously, "Another Weasley's Wheezers, perhaps."

Ron and Hermione stared horrified as Snape prodded the outside of the sack with his wand, while Harry began freaking out at the slime that was refusing to come off his arm.

"What the bloody hell is in that thing?!" cried Harry.

"Forty points from Gryffindor for your crass Mr Potter."

"Please sir, give me the sack back"

"I will do no such thing Mr Weasley" said Snape, "I will be confiscating this, and you _and_ Miss Granger can stay after class.

When it came time for the end of class bell to ring, Ron and Hermione sat in silence waiting for there punishment, Snape silenced the room and locked the doors.

"You are foolish if you think that I do not know what this is," he stated, "it does not take a genius to create spatial travel portals. Even so, I doubt it was _your_ bright idea Weasley"

They sat in silence as Snape pulled the sack from his pocket.  
"Would anyone like to tell me where it leads?" he asked innocently.

Again they both remained too fearful in their silence to answer him.

"Very well, I have no choice but to investigate."

Sticking his dexterous fingers inside the sack, Hermione moaned loudly into the room and Snape sneered at her.

"What was that Miss Granger?" crooking his fingers. She moaned again in response.

"I think it's time for you to leave Mr Weasley. I'd like to have a word with Miss Granger, alone."

**~O~**

**My partner loved it so much he asked me to upload it and he is excited to see all the comments, so if you want to find out what Snape will do to punish Hermione let us know! **

**Leave a comment as directed below!**


	2. Harry Gets His Answer

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and associated ideas, characters, places and events are the property of J K Rowling.**

**Due to the insistence of the comments my partner and I have decided to continue with another chapter :D Hope you enjoy it ;)**

**Here is the Sack.**

**Enjoy.**

**~O~**

Outside Snape's classroom, Ron stalked back and forth, racking his hair hard enough to pull out brittle strands of vibrant red hair.

"Oh this is bad Harry, really, really bad."

"What's bad Ron?" asked Harry who had waited for his friends outside instead of going back to his common room as instructed, "Why did Snape let you go but not Hermione? I don't understand what is going on!"

"I can't tell you Harry, 'Mione will kill me!"

"She can't do much in there mate," offered Harry, who stroked his arm, which had previously been coated in a feminine liquid, "What the hell was in that sack, Ron? You have to tell me, it was so disgusting, did Seamus and Dean put you up to this?"

"I didn't do anything to you Harry, it was not meant for you, I told you not to touch it!"

"Well you should have said something -"

"I DID! I told you not to touch it and now Hermione is going to hate me forever. I have no idea what Snape is going to do to her."

Harry was more than puzzled but at the mention of his most hated Professor, he grew serious and stopped Ron's anxious behaviour with a firm hand on his friends shoulder.

"If Hermione is in trouble Ron, you have to tell me what's wrong. She seemed really sick in class and I think she needs to see Madam Pomfrey and if Snape has any reason to hurt Hermione we have to do something. We have to get Dumbledore!"

"NO! We can't get Dumbledore, Harry."

"Why not just tell me?! What was in the sack?!"

"Nothing was in the sack Harry."

"Yes there is, I felt it, it was slimy and soft and you can't stand there and tell me that there was nothing in there. TELL ME WHAT IT WAS!"

"There is nothing _IN THERE HARRY_" hissed Ron, who pushed Harry into an alcove as three Ravenclaws passed them, "You have to get a hold of yourself Harry, I just can't tell you."

"You don't understand Ron, I need to know! You have to tell me!"

"Just knock it off Harry, we have to save Hermione."

"Tell me and then we can save her."

"HARRY!"

"She is a capable witch Ron, tell me first and then we'll find a way to save her."

After a pregnant pause, Ron caved and pulled Harry further into the alcove, until they were out of sight from those passing their way to and from class. Ron urged Harry to cast a muffliato charm to ensure their secrecy.

"Ok, now tell me," whispered Harry eagerly, "What was in there you right twat?"

Ron answered him honestly, "Nothing, Harry-"

"Sod off you right nutter Ron, you said you were going to tell me, stop messing around!"

"It's true Harry, there _is_ nothing in the sack. The sack is a portal!"

"A what?"

"A portal?"

"What the heck is a portal?"

"You go in and you come out somewhere else."

"Where did you get a portal from Ron?"

"It is something that Hermione made for me. It's kind of like her little bag that she keeps all of her books and that in except not really because well you can't keep things in there. You can _put_ things in there but you can't put something in there and expect it to be safe in there-"

"Ron what the _bloody hell_ are you on about?!" hissed Harry angrily, "I have no idea what you are talking about and you are starting to get on my last nerve. If you don't tell me what it is I am going to Dumbledore!"

"Listen to me Harry," urged Ron, "this is really embarrassing alright. I am sorry you got your . . . _arm all wet_ . . . oh merlin, Harry, your arm was s-so _wet._ You have no idea mate._"_

_"_Then tell me mate," strained Harry, "tell me what was in the sack, portal, whatever. If it wasn't a normal sack, then, where did it lead to?"

Ron took in a huge breath of air and avoided Harry's gaze when he said;

"It lead to Hermione."

"What to you mean mate?" asked Harry, even more confused.

"It means, Harry, that when you put your hand, into the opening of the sack, your hand came out the inside of Hermione's underpants."

Harry stood stunned for a moment as he allowed the information to sink in, and once he absorbed the information, he felt his heart race and a little beside himself.

"So your saying, that I had my hand, i-in Hermione's undies?"

'Y-yeah mate," confirmed Ron, completely red faced, "I told you not to touch it, she gave it to me, thought it would spice things up a bit."

Harry remained quiet, stroking his arm in thought.

"She was _soo_ wet Ron," said Harry softly, "no wonder she was carrying on like she was, I had my whole arm in there!"

"Shut up Harry!"

"What? I am just sayin'-"

"You shouldn't of had _anything_ in there! IT WAS MEANT FOR ME!"

"It was your own fault! Who would have thought Hermione could take a whole arm?"

"SHUT UP YOU GIT!"

"NO YOU SHUT UP RON! I THINK I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE AFTER THIS LITTLE 'INCIDENT'!"

Ron clamped his hand over Harry's mouth and stared at him with pleading eyes, now realising the urgency of the matter at hand.

"Harry please, we don't have time to argue. Snape knows. He knows what the sack is Harry, that's why he kicked me out of the classroom, that's why Hermione is in great danger!"

"S-Snape knows?" stuttered Harry, "How could he possibly know?"

Ron sneered angrily in remembrance, "The bastard s-stuck his fingers in there."

Harry's eyes opened widely behind his glasses and his brow furrowed in outrage.

"We have to save her Ron, we have to get Dumbledore! Who knows what that greasy git will do to Hermione."

**~O~**

**Muhahaha, tell me how much you want to know what Snape ends up doing to Hermione. Oh, let me know I am sure that Snape is more than eager to let you in on the show!**

**Leave a comment as directed below!**


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